I have a theory: In order to make themselves feel better about themselves, these individuals put others down. I encounter a particular individual (ya like how I worded that?) that I encounter on a daily basis. We are work colleagues and friends. This person and I are the same age but we have taken different paths in life.
Her: super smart, graduated high school, college and went on to earn her MBA. No serious relationships, no children, has some interesting views on how men should be "trained". Work has been her adult life.
Of course, there are many others that have taken the same path. Nothing wrong with that.
Ok, on to me.
So, you can see, our paths were/are completely different. Does that make one path better than the other?
She is very career oriented, she's a manager and has a great deal of experience. I have no desire to climb the corporate ladder. My desires lay outside of the work zone. This blog for instance. For so many years, I talked about starting something like this, first in print, thought about a website. It wasn't until about four years ago that I started to realize that there are some things that I am really good at. From there, I went on to start a local single parenting group. At this point in my life, I am enjoying my family and other ventures that God has placed in my heart and life.
Over the years, this particular individual (there I go again) and I have become close. Close enough for me to hang out with her on the weekends, I invited her to my wedding last year, we've confided in each other. I consider her a friend. But then there is this other mode she goes into, where she makes other people feel inferior. Oh no, I am not the only one, there are many others. I wonder if this has impacted her personal relationships. I know that her work relationships have been influenced by her attitude.
Let me admit, as I type this, I am coming to some realizations:
- You teach people how to treat you. This is an old adage that I heard from Dr. Phil and it's true. I set the stage as to how people treat me. With this particular individual, I have got to push the reset button.
- This is the happiest stage I've ever been in my life. It took a while for me to get here but I am here.
- I have joy, which is different than happiness (my opinion). Joy is that thing on the inside of you that springs out. It's calming, peaceful and soothing. Happiness is dependent on other things or other people. It's conditional.
I believe that everyone has a low moment or two from time to time. I tend to dwell on the fact that I haven't completed college yet. When those thoughts come, it makes me feel insecure and fearful. When those thoughts of insecurity and fear come, I talk to myself. Here are a few things that I come up with:
I am not perfect, nor do I pretend to be. I love me. I have worked hard to get to where I am today. Just like this particular individual. But I wonder about her self esteem.
So, yeah, I am pushing the reset button on this relationship.
Why? Why not just sever the relationship? I enjoy having this particular individual as a friend. This also helps me to make sure that I am not putting others down. Keeps me on my toes.
Ahhhhh...much better. This blog is therapeutic! Where else can I release what I am feeling for free?
How about you? What do you do to pump yourself up?