Tuesday, April 16, 2013

ReShape Mondays

This Monday finds me reflecting on something lingering from vacation a week ago. If you read my Spring Break 2013, you would recall that we spent a few days with MonkeyMan's parents in Pensacola. His parents are wonderful people. They have fully accepted Yogli and Hummingbird as their own grandchildren (which could be good or create grounds for spoiling). My husband's parents aren't able to get out as much as they used to. So, our visits usually consists of hearty meals and watching . They enjoy and the kids do also. On this particular visit, my husband's dad was not feeling well. I figured it would be best if I kept Hummingbird in the back room, so he wouldn't have to hear the chitter chatter of a 7 year old. Of course, doing this gave the impression that I was being antisocial. When returning home, I asked MonkeyMan if he thought that. He said no but ("but", the word that erases everything said prior) "my mom really wants to bond with you". Yikes! How do you bond? I mean, seriously, I have always been disliked by previous moms. Now, to have his mom actually like me. What do I do? How do we bond? MonkeyMan can't always be the focal point of our relationship. Or should he? I've really been thinking about this. Where do I start? His mom is really sweet and means well. In previous in law relationships, I always felt like I had to be in fighting mode, almost like a gladiator. Hey, maybe that was prep work to get me where I am today. So, on this ReShape Monday, I am working on learning how to let my guard down and bond with my in-laws. The guard can come down because its not me battling with the in-laws but me battling myself to care for them as they care for me. Anybody out there got any experience with in law relationships?


  1. Yes, I have known mine a very long time, but I know that my hubby has my back and that I have a safe place in him. I tell them what I will accept up front and I try not be unrealistic, but mine are awesome, they are family and hey we all have our issues, but when it's all said and done, my hubby and I are one so we deal with family as such, I don't have to feel like an outsider and that helps.

  2. @ Laquana, his parents are wonderful! They have been so loving from the beginning. His mom even said that she finally feels like she has a daughter in me, the sad part is she has daughter by birth! It's definitely not them, it's me trying to let my guard down. It's new for me to have inlaws that actually like me. As with all things, it will take time. My husband has been great to listen to me talk through my issues with letting the inlaw guard down, it's a process!