Monday, July 15, 2013

Why sounding like my mama is a good thing

Things my mama says....
  • "Don't talk when grown folks are talking"
  • "Standing too close to the tv will ruin your eyes" (Ok, this one might actually be true, been wearing glasses since 6th grade!)
  • Roll your eyes again and I will knock you into next week" (one of my all time favs, amazing, I could time travel just for rolling my eyes!)
  • "Make sure you have on clean underwear with no holes just in case you get into an accident and get taken to the hospital" (Really?!?!? Why would that matter if I am in the hospital?)
  • "Either you eat what I've cooked or you don't eat at all"
  • "I don't care that you're mad. You got your lips poked out so far, we can all jump up on them and ride" (that one just makes me scream with laughter, I am doing it right now as I am typing this!!!)
Just a few mom-isms I remember from my childhood. I also remember getting popped if I acted up in public or in front of company.

Ok, fam, I am suffering in this area when it comes to Hummingbird. I find myself telling her what's gonna happen if she doesn't behave instead of taking action. Remember how I talked about being consistent? I need to be more consistent in discipline as well. She gets away with a lot.

Here's my story. Since becoming a parent, I've always tried to do things differently than my parents. Not saying that they were bad parents but we didn't have a lot when I was a kid. We didn't go to parks, libraries, restaurants, none of that. We could not afford it. There was a lot of backyard bbqs with good food, good music, good friends. Back then, I thought that was not "cool", rather boring. So much, that I would stay in my room and listen to my own music and watch baseball, fantasizing about my life with one of the Atlanta Braves.

So, in my trying to do things differently than my parents, I think I may have caused some harm. I think that what I took as them being mean, was them actually steering me in the right direction. They made do with what we had. I am a reflection of that and I think that I'm a pretty darn good reflection. Now, I want to be reflected in a good way as well...

When Yogli was growing up, I would make sure that he got to experience childhood things, like playing soccer, going to parks, riding bikes and summer camps. He was such a well behaved kid that people would comment on how well behaved he was and still is. He's not perfect, but he's a good kid that, when he was 7, could sit in a restaurant and act right. Same with Hummingbird. She's taken dance lessons, currently takes karate, is a Girl Scout, very active kid. We take vacations, she goes to summer camps, we do family oriented things. Maybe I need to scale it back a bit. See, once again, my type A personality has me going from one extreme to the next.

Kids are different, plain and simple. Boys and girls are different, plain and simple. Hummingbird is a spirited, intelligent, sharp tongued, energetic 7 year old girl who loves bright colored finger nail polish and her hair flowing. I recall being in a store with her once and having a total stranger look at me and say "Honey, I'll bet that you're glad when her head hits the pillow at night." Amen, ma'am, amen.

Recently, I started to really observe her behavior. A lot of it is me, there's some of her dad there, too. Her need for attention is a characteristic of him, which we will have to shape over the upcoming years. Her sassy tongue, sharp comebacks, I guess anything that involves her talking comes from me. I say that without pride. Even when she is being her sharp witted self, she can still be so sweet. I love the fact that she is outgoing, has her own defined sense of style, and speaks her mind. I hope that these are things that she carries well into her teenage years and beyond. My task is to help her shape it so that it does way more good than harm.

Before drifting off to sleep one night, I was reading a blog post by Surburbia Interrupted that spoke quite loudly to me. Surburbia wrote about her daughter, who displayed some of the same characteristics as my Hummingbird. Surburbia realized that her daughter was a reflection of herself, they fed off of each other. Ha! This explains my relationship with Hummingbird to a T. Last Sunday, while getting ready for church, she looks at me and says "Mommy, I have some green shoes that would match your dress. I would let you borrow them but they are probably too small." This is a glimpse into our future, where she will probably be raiding my closet.

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15 comments:

  1. Thanks for following! I am now following back!

    This post is great! I always wonder if I will one day sound like my momma too!

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  2. I can't help but hear Bill Cosby saying "If you're ever in an accident you will have on SOILED UNDERWEAR." hahahaha I think we all have some of these things. It reminds me of a stained glass hanging in my Nana's house:
    "If it's not one thing, it's your mother."
    Glad you are ok with sounding like your Mom!

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    1. Ooohhh, Joy, I like that quote! Yeah, it's all good, I turned out pretty well, so I guess she knew a lil something :-)
      Thanks for stopping by!

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  3. Haha I can relate to all with your "Things my mama says...." list. I remeber my mama say those things when I was little, now reading that list make me realize now that I sounds so much like my mama.

    http://herweightlossdiary.blogspot.com

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    1. Honeybee, it is amazing that when we grow up, we sound more and more like our mamas! Scary.

      I appreciate you taking time to read and post this posting!

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  4. I loved this post! Thanks for linking up at #LOBS party!

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  5. LOL "Make sure you have on clean underwear with no holes just in case you get into an accident and get taken to the hospital" I had that so drilled into my head that I won't even leave the house without double checking! Thanks for linking up at LOBS.

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    1. As always, thanks for hosting a great party!

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  6. Oh, my. the absolutely great news is that when your daughter grows into her lovely young adult self, you will enjoy such a rich relationship with her. My youngest was a Hummingbird. Whew-there were many days I wondered if we'd both survive her childhood.
    And yup, we do come to sound like our moms, and it can be a good thing. Love your list-echoes of my childhood are in there. :-) Found you via #LOBS.

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    1. Lol, Kim. I am so glad that you can relate to having a Hummingbird! Thanks for stopping by!

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  7. Yaaass ma'am! My momma used to say all of those things too, and I came out great. I think you hit the nail on the head with this when you said "all kids are different". And that means that each and every one requires a different parenting style. I think you're doing right by your children the same way your mother did right by you. The fact that you're even concerned with your parenting style makes you a pretty dang good momma in my book. ;) Great piece girl!

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    1. Love your blog! I appreciate your words, very encouraging!

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  8. I don't remember how it was said to me exactly, but I do remember being picked up from the nurse's office for a sprained ankle when I was in high school and my mother was on my case for my feet looking a hot mess! They did't look crusty, they just needed a little touch up... nail polish was chipping. Lesson learned: make sure your feet are looking right just in case you have a foot or ankle injury and are require to take off your socks and shoes.

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