- "Don't talk when grown folks are talking"
- "Standing too close to the tv will ruin your eyes" (Ok, this one might actually be true, been wearing glasses since 6th grade!)
- Roll your eyes again and I will knock you into next week" (one of my all time favs, amazing, I could time travel just for rolling my eyes!)
- "Make sure you have on clean underwear with no holes just in case you get into an accident and get taken to the hospital" (Really?!?!? Why would that matter if I am in the hospital?)
- "Either you eat what I've cooked or you don't eat at all"
- "I don't care that you're mad. You got your lips poked out so far, we can all jump up on them and ride" (that one just makes me scream with laughter, I am doing it right now as I am typing this!!!)
Ok, fam, I am suffering in this area when it comes to Hummingbird. I find myself telling her what's gonna happen if she doesn't behave instead of taking action. Remember how I talked about being consistent? I need to be more consistent in discipline as well. She gets away with a lot.
Here's my story. Since becoming a parent, I've always tried to do things differently than my parents. Not saying that they were bad parents but we didn't have a lot when I was a kid. We didn't go to parks, libraries, restaurants, none of that. We could not afford it. There was a lot of backyard bbqs with good food, good music, good friends. Back then, I thought that was not "cool", rather boring. So much, that I would stay in my room and listen to my own music and watch baseball, fantasizing about my life with one of the Atlanta Braves.
So, in my trying to do things differently than my parents, I think I may have caused some harm. I think that what I took as them being mean, was them actually steering me in the right direction. They made do with what we had. I am a reflection of that and I think that I'm a pretty darn good reflection. Now, I want to be reflected in a good way as well...
When Yogli was growing up, I would make sure that he got to experience childhood things, like playing soccer, going to parks, riding bikes and summer camps. He was such a well behaved kid that people would comment on how well behaved he was and still is. He's not perfect, but he's a good kid that, when he was 7, could sit in a restaurant and act right. Same with Hummingbird. She's taken dance lessons, currently takes karate, is a Girl Scout, very active kid. We take vacations, she goes to summer camps, we do family oriented things. Maybe I need to scale it back a bit. See, once again, my type A personality has me going from one extreme to the next.
Kids are different, plain and simple. Boys and girls are different, plain and simple. Hummingbird is a spirited, intelligent, sharp tongued, energetic 7 year old girl who loves bright colored finger nail polish and her hair flowing. I recall being in a store with her once and having a total stranger look at me and say "Honey, I'll bet that you're glad when her head hits the pillow at night." Amen, ma'am, amen.
Recently, I started to really observe her behavior. A lot of it is me, there's some of her dad there, too. Her need for attention is a characteristic of him, which we will have to shape over the upcoming years. Her sassy tongue, sharp comebacks, I guess anything that involves her talking comes from me. I say that without pride. Even when she is being her sharp witted self, she can still be so sweet. I love the fact that she is outgoing, has her own defined sense of style, and speaks her mind. I hope that these are things that she carries well into her teenage years and beyond. My task is to help her shape it so that it does way more good than harm.
Before drifting off to sleep one night, I was reading a blog post by Surburbia Interrupted that spoke quite loudly to me. Surburbia wrote about her daughter, who displayed some of the same characteristics as my Hummingbird. Surburbia realized that her daughter was a reflection of herself, they fed off of each other. Ha! This explains my relationship with Hummingbird to a T. Last Sunday, while getting ready for church, she looks at me and says "Mommy, I have some green shoes that would match your dress. I would let you borrow them but they are probably too small." This is a glimpse into our future, where she will probably be raiding my closet.