Monday, June 17, 2013

Do you...without the guilt

We are a blended family. Are we? What do they call it when one person has kids, the other doesn't, they get married. That's still blended, right? Labels make things so complicated. Anyway, as a result of all of this, I have to interact with the ex husband and exchange the children at times. Now, those exchange moments are far and in between (no need to dwell on that). But when those far and in between times come, I make the most of it.

MonkeyMan gave me a great revelation the other night. If you follow this blog, you have probably heard me talk about how we work different shifts. He comes home on Friday night at about 11:30 pm. He was astonished to find out that I was still awake! I wasn't tired at all. I mentioned to him that Hummingbird exhausts me. He said to remember that my personality type is that of an introvert. See Hummingbird didn't just get that name by chance. About 2 summers ago, she decided she didn't want to be called by her real name. She came up with Hummingbird and Flower. So, we went a whole summer calling her by either of those names. Hummingbirds are tiny and they flutter around constantly. That's her. She's an extrovert, not sure how because her dad is not an extrovert. MonkeyMan proceeds to tell me that, because she's an extrovert, she drains my introverted spirit. While I am being drained, she's being energized. On the flipside of that, I am energized when I am able to be alone. If she's left alone, she's being drained. Hence, the reason why I was still awake when he came home.

With my new found revelation, I woke up on Saturday morning and headed to the gym, while MonkeyMan headed into work for a few hours (I know, it sucks, right?). It's all good though, because we had a date night later,

Barely being able to walk after the gym, I fell into my car and went to a few of my favorite places: Hobby Lobby and Kohl's. It is a different experience when a mom can go shopping without being asked a gazillion questions. Or having to dance around a coordinated block technique. Yogli and Hummingbird do this to me whenever we're in stores they don't want to be in.

Shopping alone, how therapeutic! You get to take your time, nobody rushing you, you can go to how many ever stores you want to. Probably the most beautiful benefit to all of this is that I am price conscious shopper. I will never pay full price.

After my shopping was done, I strolled into the house. Not a sound. Went into my cloffice, cranked up Spotify and enjoyed working on this blog, internet surfing, whatever I wanted to do.

As moms, our "ON" button is always on. I enjoy motherhood, it has helped to shape me into the person  I am today. That's only one of my roles though. I am one person with multiple roles. In order for me to perform my roles effectively, I need to be fueled. Fueled without the guilt. There should be no guilt of indulging in things that make you feel good.

So, how do you "do you"? Is it by getting a massage? Staying in bed all day? Shopping? I know a mom whose "do you" time is with her 2 boys, both under the age of 5! Wow, but some moms cannot stand being away from their kids. However you "do you", just do it. Even if it's just for a few hours, do you. In order to be your best for the fam, you've got to be your best for you first. Everybody needs and deserves a mental break.

Well, my "do me" weekend has come to a close. They're baaaacckkkk! Bring it, I say, cause I am energized and back in mommy mode.

post signature