Mom Confession

My name is Tiffany and I have a confession to make. As a mom to a 16 year old boy and 7 year old girl, I confess to being disappointed in them at times. Let me give you some more detail, specifically about my disappointment in my son.

Yogli is an intelligent, kind hearted kid. Even though he's 16, he still enjoys being around me. Most people thought that when he turned 13, he would change. He changed, of course, because puberty caused him to. But he still enjoyed being around me. Yogli entered the gifted program in elementary school, was accepted into the Duke TIP program for gifted kids during middle school, took the SAT in the 7th grade. He has always had the ability to engage adults in conversations. His teachers love him, other kids love him.

Now, remember, I said that he did change because puberty set in. LAZY. Starting in middle school, Yogli would complete homework assignments but would not turn them in. I could never understand that, I would watch him complete the assignments but would see on progress reports where they were never turned in. We visited psychologists to try and figure what was going on, only to be told that this was a recurring problem with many boys his age.

Even as a work outside the home mom, I stay as active as possible in their schools. I call, email, and send notes to their teachers to always have that open connection. Usually around October of every school year, I can expect notes and phone calls from Yogli's teachers.

My current disappointment comes in the form of Yogli approaching senior year. I am concerned because he has let his grades slip so much that he won't get into the colleges he had hoped for. Ok, so maybe I am jumping the gun. His junior year just ended 2 weeks ago. He earned the amount of credits required to move on to the next grade. So, he's a senior! I just thought that the road getting to this point would be decorated with more accolades that I know he is capable of achieving.

I find myself feeling envy when I hear of other kids doing these great things. My envy is fueled because I know what Yogli is capable of.

So, what do I do? For starters, I keep praying and being grateful. What am I grateful for? Yogli is independent, he is a leader not a follower, he does not party and is home every night, he talks to me, he likes to hang out with his family, he hangs out with his friends, he doesn't smoke or drink, he earned credits to become a senior (even though some of his classmates dropped out), he attends church every week and just auditioned to play drums with the teen ministry. He decided to do volunteer work this summer, I didn't persuade him to sign up, he decided this on his own. I could keep going. I have to stop looking at everybody else's kid and appreciate my kid.

I believe that MonkeyMan and I set a great example for Yogli and Hummingbird. Both kids love writing and debating (wonder where they get that from?). Hummingbird has so many journals at the age of 7 than most adults!

Disappointment is a funny thing. I set my own self up for that disappointment, Yogli's just being a kid. It's a part of mom-being that I feel a range of emotions. My job is to guide him; Yogli is my product, a product that I am about to make available to the world.

WARNING: as we approach senior year, you will probably be subjected to posts like these. I am already getting teary eyed even talking about graduation next year!