Sunday, June 16, 2013

Blogview with a Step Dad - Happy Father's Day!

Yogli and Hummingbird have the bonus of celebrating two fathers each year. Yogli's biological father died when Yogli was 3, my ex husband adopted Yogli short after that. Years after that, Hummingbird was born, which 2 years later, we were divorced. Both kids spend time with their dad from time to time.

I often fantasized about being married to a wonderful man that would accept my kids as his own. We hear it every day, about how kids and step parents don't get along. I must admit, I was a bit scared of finding love with the possibility of having to forfeit it if he didn't get along with my kids.

I remember it like it was yesterday, MonkeyMan meeting Yogli and Hummingbird for the first time. Hummingbird made it loud and clear of her rank in my life by saying "this is my mommy". Yes, those were her first words to MonkeyMan. Yogli seemed fine, I often caught him staring at us when he thought we weren't looking. Almost like saying "wow, is this for real?"

Look at them now!
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So, Father's Day is today. MonkeyMan has no biological children of his own (keep going back and forth about whether or not we're gonna do it or not). I wonder about how he feels being in Yogli and Hummingbird's lives. My wondering lead to a blogview (blog + interview). Here's what he had to say:

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Me: As we approach Father's Day, what is your definition of "father"? 
MM: Protector, provider, counselor, and the one who gives the good kick in the butt when you need it.

Me: Describe your feelings of the title "stepfather"? 
MM: I am fine with the title.

Me: Do you consider yourself a parent?  
MM: Absolutely, I couldn't imagine being any prouder or happier than being allowed to be part of this great family.

Me: Where do you draw your parenting insight/motivation from? 
MM: Get a lot from my parents, even though that is a little scary. Who knew they actually did know what they were doing as I as growing up. Maybe some from TV, who didn't want some of those TV parents from the 80s? And I am always seeking insight from inspirational and knowledgeable sources.  I have a lot to learn.

Me: What are the top 3 things you've learned since becoming a step dad to Yogli and Hummingbird? 
MM: 1.) Time is the most valuable thing I can give. 2.) That I will not always have the right answer for everything. 3.) That I wish I could have been part of their life sooner.

Me: Any frustrations? Are they directly linked to becoming their step dad? 
MM: No frustrations. The transition went a lot easier than I had anticipated. Both Hummingbird and Yogli were very welcoming and seemed genuinely happy that you were happy. I never felt at anytime they had reservations of me coming into their life.

Me: As they grow older, what would you like for Yogli and Hummingbird to learn from you? 
MM: Stay positive and have some fun on their journey through life. Blessings can come at the most unexpected of times, so be ready for them.

Me: Any advice for other step dads out there? 
MM: I really should be asking them for advice. The main thing is just be yourself, be sincere, give time, and let the relationship grow. 

I am truly blessed to have met my MonkeyMan and to have him present in Yogli and Hummingbird's lives. Happy Father's Day to all the awesome men who are present in a child's life. 

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  1. That is great and its true its not always easy when the man you live with or is now your husband is a good step dad to your kids. My daughter has her father around and she sees him every week but I make sure that on Father's Day she should also celebrate with her step dad as well he may not be her biological dad but he has been rising her since she was five

    1. Thanks, Miriam! There are a lot of men out there that are active in a child's life and they may not even be related to the child. I think that they should be celebrated as well. That is awesome that your husband is there and being celebrated.