Friday, October 4, 2013

Guest Post: Eli from Coach Daddy passes the sports torch

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Super excited to have Eli from Coach Daddy guest post for me, sharing some of his coaching and fatherhood insight with us.

Eli and his girls, Elise particularly, shows us that it's not just a man's world when it comes to sports!

What do these things have in common?
  1. The players and philosophies of my fantasy football team
  2. The statistical and analytical breakdown of my latest U-11 soccer match
  3. What Howard Stern is up to
Answer: No one gives a rat’s caboose outside of the fantasy team owner, coaches and parents, or Howard Stern himself, for Kate Upton's sake. And they certainly don’t want to hear about them.
This post is about fantasy football – but I will not tell you more than you’ll absolutely need to know to understand the story. I promise. I won’t even tell you that Calvin Johnson is my best player, or that I picked up Terrelle Pryor and Philip Rivers to hopefully force a trade for a running back.

Oops. See? It’s hard not to do.

Thing is, I know that moms make up 92.3 percent of my readers. You’ll tell your husbands to read me if I write of something profound, like why dads come in second to moms. I hope you’ll share this one, too. We dads must know of these rites of passage.

* * *
On October 10th two seasons ago, as the hour approached midnight, my 13-year-old daughter beat me... in fantasy football.

My unbeaten team, mind you. The Sun City Skunk Kings fell to the Zacateca Z-donks 111-85. Yes, those were our teams’ names. Like father, like daughter.

Fathers with sons can point to the day their boy first beat them in a foot race. Or game of one-on-one. Or knocked them out cold with a punch.

However, fathers with daughters cannot point to these days. Not that Elise might not clean my clock one day. She’s nearly as tall as me. Not that it’s saying much.

Don’t discount this, moms. It’s like, when your daughter starts wearing your clothes, and using your makeup, and fixing her hair, just like you. Only, this is worse.

Consider this our moment. She’s learned from me. She’s the girl in school who can correct the boys when they talk about the Steelers and Ravens playing in a Super Bowl. Who can argue for Aaron Rogers against Michael Vick, or understand the fallacy of sticking with that stinkin’ Packers defense for another painful week.

On this night, the cub devoured the lion.

It’s like when Eli and Peyton Manning won the Super Bowls that their father, Archie, couldn’t even reach. Ken Griffey Jr. hitting more home runs than Ken Griffey Sr. That commercial in which racecar driver Michael Andretti details the first time he passed his legend of a dad, Mario, in a race (punctuated by the declaration, “adios, dada!”)

OK, moms, maybe it’s more than a daughter sharing your shoe collection. Maybe it’s your little girl rocking your favorite sundress better than you do. Staying a size 4 when she eats like a linebacker.
Or getting more looks in the mall than mom does. Or did, at her age.

With me now, moms? Pass the tissues. The mighty Skunk Kings have fallen.

Atta girl, Elise. Atta girl.

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When he's not trying to get the truth out of three rambunctious daughters or wrestling unruly livestock, Eli coaches and fathers those wild children, and writes about it on his blog, Coach Daddy.


  1. Tiffany - thanks for putting me in the game today. I'm good for at least 25 fantasy points. Le Sean McCoy, move over.

  2. Love this! Of course, I can already see the day in the not-so-distant future that my gorgeous daughters get more looks while they're kicking my tail in a road race!

    1. Thanks Nicole! I have a feeling you're going to fight like heck though!

  3. Go Elise! We have a family fantasy football league (husband, kids, father-in-law, brothers-in-law, and two nephews) - my daughter is the only female participant. She is over the moon when she beats out the boys!

  4. You know, I have no idea what fantasy football is....or how to follow an actual game of football for that matter. but my daughters already walk better in my heels and THAT I get. And that Eli is just several shades of awesome in this writing thing. Way to go Coach!

    1. Funny, my daughter just tried a pair of my shoes on yesterday! There was this glimmer in her eye that made me wanna pack up all of my shoes...

  5. Go Elise!! My daughter can already kick my butt in a mile on the track and even a 5k. I'm guessing probably a 10k too. Thankfully she's outgrown my shoes and now leaves those alone.