I've always been a bit sarcastic. I've always had a way of using my words to inflict pain whenever I am angry. At times, I've used my words to inflict pain on those who don't deserve it, those who have been closet to me. People usually hurt those closet to them. Not saying that it's right but I can see how that happens. Those closet to us see us, the real us, bare bones and all. Sometimes what we show them is pretty, sometimes it's jacked up, sometimes it's just plain UGLY.
I've used my words sometimes to cover up what I am really feeling. This happened in a recent encounter with the person closet to me. Instead of me simply saying what I was feeling, I went from point A to point XTBECCGOXLA (yeah that probably doesn't exist, my point exactly). Yikes! I clearly went to CrazyTown, as a good friend of mine describes it. She says " we all have a bit of CrazyTown in us. Be a visitor, not a permanent resident".
On this recent visit to CrazyTown, the minute I opened my mouth, I knew that I was wrong. Yet, I didn't stop. That made me awful, to hear the Voice telling me to stop but yet I kept going. Once all of the venom was out, I felt disgusted with myself.
The next morning, I asked God for the words to say to express why I said the things I said. He didn't say "why are you asking me now, you didn't ask me last night". Ha! Instead, certain scriptures were brought to my remembrance, things I had learned in a relationship class I had taken last year.
Over the past few years, I have worked to quickly acknowledge my fault in matters. So, I've accomplished that. Now, I need to work on words I use to express that fault.
Another reason why I continue to work on using my words for good is that I have two folks who are always looking at what I do and listening to what I say: Yogli and Hummingbird. They both have sharp tongues (got it naturally) but I want them to use that sharp tongue only when necessary. Yeah, I know, you probably thought I was going to say "use that sharp tongue never". Nope. I believe that there are instances where some people need to hear some sharp words. I guess I am saying I want them to be able to control how they use their words.
So, I've passed through CrazyTown, hoping to hold off on my next visit. However, if I visit again, I will have better control on how long I visit. I've donated this sign for CrazyTown to put on its streets:
