I know that's what he's got to be thinking, right?
Date night. This is how the conversation usually goes between MonkeyMan and me. He's such a wonderful husband, making sure that my wants/needs are taken care of. Which means he's usually the one who decides where we go, what we eat on date night. My indecisiveness keeps me from determining where we go, what we eat on date night.
Part of my summer bucket list (adult version) was to become more decisive regarding our married date life.
When women are decisive, it shows men that we know how to take charge. In my past life, I was a total control freak. I made all of the decisions, all of the time. This type of environment creates a beast of a relationship because I grew tired of making all of the decisions, all of the time. Having to do this can cause bitterness and resentment, which are sure fire ways to sink a relationship.
Ever wonder why indecisiveness rears its ugly head? I wondered why I was often hesitant in choosing where we ate dinner or how we would spend our evening. This hesitancy's root was fear. I was fearful that he would hate my decision for dinner or he would think I was weird for picking that place to eat. I've dealt with that before, where I would make a decision only to have it bite me in the banjo if my decision caused some type of failure. This can paralyze any future decisions you try to make. With my type A personality, I like certainty, don't always get it but a girl can dream. So, I ended up using indecisiveness as a shield. That way, if something blew up, it wouldn't be my fault.
Over the past few years, I have learned that:
- some hesitancy is good because common sense still rules. With major decisions, a careful thought process is still needed
- in life, there are just some decisions that need to be made, plain and simple.
- to imagine the worst case scenario. Most times, we make problems way bigger in our heads than they actually are in reality.
- people are different, they have different reactions.
This is still a work in progress for me.There are some things/people in my life that constantly test me in this area, which means I will have plenty of opportunities to practice.
For this particular date night, I decided that we needed to do an activity. It had been months since our last date night, so I wanted to actually do something, not just dinner and a movie. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a fulfilling dinner and a great movie. But that was always our "go to" plan. On previous dates, we've enjoyed diy canvas and ceramic painting. We've got masterpieces stored in the garage but the time spent together was priceless. I enlisted the help of google and found Your Fired Creations, a local DIY arts studio. I spoke with the owner to have a football themed canvas pre sketched for us, figured this was perfect since MonkeyMan is a football fanatic and the season is almost here.
**Date nights don't have to be expensive. The focus is spending time with your mate, the two of you connecting on a different level other than being mom, dad, employee, etc. This particular date cost me $15. Usually if you search Groupon or Living Social, you can find deals for diy art studios.
Earlier in the week, I
Date night was a success but left us with one more decision to make:
Where are we gonna hang this?
With my new found married life date night decisiveness, I think the garage would be perfect!