Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Will you just pick something already! (ditching indecisiveness)

 photo date1_zpsd797acd6.png

I know that's what he's got to be thinking, right?

Date night. This is how the conversation usually goes between MonkeyMan and me. He's such a wonderful husband, making sure that my wants/needs are taken care of. Which means he's usually the one who decides where we go, what we eat on date night. My indecisiveness keeps me from determining where we go, what we eat on date night.

Part of my summer bucket list (adult version) was to become more decisive regarding our married date life.


When women are decisive, it shows men that we know how to take charge. In my past life, I was a total control freak. I made all of the decisions, all of the time. This type of environment creates a beast of a relationship because I grew tired of making all of the decisions, all of the time. Having to do this can cause bitterness and resentment, which are sure fire ways to sink a relationship.




Ever wonder why indecisiveness rears its ugly head? I wondered why I was often hesitant in choosing where we ate dinner or how we would spend our evening. This hesitancy's root was fear. I was fearful that he would hate my decision for dinner or he would think I was weird for picking that place to eat. I've dealt with that before, where I would make a decision only to have it bite me in the banjo if my decision caused some type of failure. This can paralyze any future decisions you try to make. With my type A personality, I like certainty, don't always get it but a girl can dream. So, I ended up using indecisiveness as a shield. That way, if something blew up, it wouldn't be my fault.

Over the past few years, I have learned that:

  • some hesitancy is good because common sense still rules. With major decisions, a careful thought process is still needed
  • in life, there are just some decisions that need to be made, plain and simple. 
  • to imagine the worst case scenario. Most times, we make problems way bigger in our heads than they actually are in reality.
  • people are different, they have different reactions. 

This is still a work in progress for me.There are some things/people in my life that constantly test me in this area, which means I will have plenty of opportunities to practice.

For this particular date night, I decided that we needed to do an activity. It had been months since our last date night, so I wanted to actually do something, not just dinner and a movie. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a fulfilling dinner and a great movie. But that was always our "go to" plan. On previous dates, we've enjoyed diy canvas and ceramic painting. We've got masterpieces stored in the garage but the time spent together was priceless. I enlisted the help of google and found Your Fired Creations, a local DIY arts studio. I spoke with the owner to have a football themed canvas pre sketched for us, figured this was perfect since MonkeyMan is a football fanatic and the season is almost here.

**Date nights don't have to be expensive. The focus is spending time with your mate, the two of you connecting on a different level other than being mom, dad, employee, etc. This particular date cost me $15. Usually if you search Groupon or Living Social, you can find deals for diy art studios.

Earlier in the week, I begged asked my mom to have Hummingbird over for the day. Yogli had to work, so that was easy. I even sent MonkeyMan an invitation, asking him out on a date, I think he was impressed. Shoot, I was impressed with myself. It felt good to make the plans, to initiate. Men like it when we initiate things.

Date night was a success but left us with one more decision to make:
Where are we gonna hang this? 

 photo date2_zps4be4ee6b.pngWith my new found married life date night decisiveness, I think the garage would be perfect!


















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14 comments:

  1. This is funny! I'm decisive on a date night, but eating out with my Mother and Sister always seems to take 10 minutes to figure out and we do it all the time.

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    1. Hey Joi! I have to sit back and laugh at myself sometimes. It's so easy to just pick somewhere but I don't think about the easy part til afterwards!

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  2. I was reading this wondering if you were going to say that you were afraid he would think your choice of place for a date was dumb. I feel that. But how nice to have someone ask about what I want to do! So I have been trying to go with that. Love your blog!

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    1. Thanks, Lynne and thanks for stopping by!

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  3. I found you on bloggy moms and have been checking out your site. Great blog. I love the Gladitor in Heels and your description with it! Following now with bloglovin.
    Angela @ Time with A & N

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    1. Hi Angela! Bloggy Moms is a cool site and very helpful. Thanks for stopping by!

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  4. I struggle with this occasionally. I have different tastes when it comes to food and my husband is a bit picky so I like him to choose most of the time.

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    1. Exactly, Christy. My husband usually has certain days that he wants certain foods. So, that's why I leave it up to him. But I realize that I need to do better with picking other stuff too, though.
      Thanks for stopping by!

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  5. This is so cute! Sometimes I can be pretty indecisive. I love that you sent your hubs an invitation. I have truly been meaning to invite my husband out on a date but have just fallen completely off the grid. You have encouraged me! Visiting from the link-up!

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    1. Hi Be-Quoted, glad I could help. It's hard sometimes, especially if you have kids. Things get crazy, you're busy, lots of things fall off the grid! But hopefully we can sneak away for a few hours to reconnect.
      Glad you found me through the link up!

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  6. I make so many decisions during the day and the week that I will get to the point where I really just don't care. All I know is that I do NOT want to make one more decision!! Thanks for sharing with us at LOBS!!!

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    1. Kristen,
      I am definitely feeling you on that one! But I do realize that my husband is also making a bunch of decisions during his day as well. I try to toss the ball back and forth so we don't both burn out. I think we read each other well enough that he knows when I could care less about dinner, go eat a bowl of cereal I say! Love the LOBS party, thanks!

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  7. Hi! You are so funny.I can totally relate to this post. I love the look of your site. I found you in Ladies Only Linky Party by the way! Im so following you now! :-)

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    1. Hi Tisha!
      Glad you can relate, I am working on it! Thanks for following me along this journey...

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